New Spring 2018 Course Offerings

 

 You may have noticed that the Course Catalog for this upcoming semester seemed a little light, and that’s because registrar completely forgot to add a couple classes before it went live. So instead of wallowing in self pity because you can’t satisfy any of your major or GE requirements, make sure to add these classes
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5C For Sale/For Free Hall of Fame

 

 Join Hiram Chodosh for a wet t-shirt contest – $100 Throughout time there have been countless sex symbols from Marilyn Monroe to our glorious leader Jacksòn, but none compare to the ever-dreamy Hiram Chodash. That is why it caused unprecedented pandamonium when he offered to join him onstage for a wet t-shirt contest. Though usually
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Welcoming Officer Red Dogg

 

 This past month, Campus Security welcomed a new member to the force: Officer Red Dogg. With the 5C faculty’s lack of diversity drawing complaints, Dogg’s hiring marks an improvement upon Camp Sec’s currently 100% Homo sapien makeup. With a keen sense of scent perfect for tracking down kids smoking on the Pomona trails and the
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Tour Guide Presents Best Campus Spots to Curl Up in Fetal Position, Cry

 

 After beginning his Tuesday afternoon tour by telling a generic joke about walking backwards and artfully skirting around questions on parties, drugs, and alcohol from parents by coughing really loudly and pretending he couldn’t hear them, third-year Pomona tour guide Jack Rodríguez cheerfully jumped right in by showing prospective students his favorite campus spots to
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Pitzer Sophomore Struggling With Beastiality Receives Support Animal

 

 After 3 years of therapy for his recurring beastiality urges, Pitzer sophomore, Gregory MacIntyre, received approval for his own support cat: Jenkins. Gregory hand-selected Jenkins, an orange tabby, from the ASPCA shelter. He says the selection process took 3 months, as he had to ensure “the redhead vibe was right, y’know?” Claremont students have expressed
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